8 Ways to Embrace Old-Fashioned Dating
What’s the best date you’ve ever been on?
Chances are, you already know what I’m about to say. If it took you too long to think; then you’ve never been on a really great date.
For those of who are lucky, then you’ll know exactly what I mean. A wonderful date has the capacity to give you an entirely new lease of life. Without trying to embarrass myself, you feel almost giddy. There isn’t a nicer feeling that sitting down with someone who enjoys the same things as you do; it’s just a bonus if they’re drop dead gorgeous too.
So what should you do if you’ve never been on a great date?
First and foremost, I can hardly say that I blame you. Although it’s never been easier to find a partner at the last minute, 21st century dating is often more complicated than it should be. It’s the old cliche that dating, or ‘courting’, was much easier when our parents were young. It seems like everyone met their future partners in high school; making those of us who didn’t feel left behind.
However, there are certainly some merits to old-fashioned dating. In the fast-paced (and often make-or-break) world of online dating and Tinder, it’s easy to forget that dating is supposed to be enjoyable.
So, if you want to improve your luck, here are our 8 tips to improve your dating streak. While we can never promise you the perfect date (we’re not that good), we can definitely help to make your day truly special.
Make your date an occasion
This might seem like an odd thing to stress, but not enough dates are treated like an occasion in themselves. Maybe you aren’t sure whether you fancy them or not; so you’ll meet them for a quick drink after work. This is all very well, but it’s unlikely that the date will ever be genuinely memorable.
The purpose of dating shouldn’t be just to find a longterm partner; it’s always an excuse to have some fun. Plan something unusual or exciting to do together as a couple.
As the summer quickly approaches, it’s a wonderful opportunity to experience the outdoors. Everyone’s been on a picnic before - but what about a grown-up picnic?
To make the occasion more special, you could always prepare the food together beforehand. There’s no need to go all Martha Stewart on your date - but all your efforts will make your partner feel special. If all goes wrong in the kitchen, then grab your umbrellas and a bottle of champagne and head off into the great outdoors.
All you need to do next is pick a gorgeous location. Garden parks and lakes can be idyllic, but they might not always be very secluded. Do some research beforehand and make your date a truly memorable occasion.
How many times have you tried to have a conversation with someone who is mindlessly tapping away on their phone? It’s frustrating - not to mention incredibly rude.
In the past, it simply wasn’t an option to be distracted by technology. This gave people more time to get to know one another.
Personally, I think it’s too easy to grab your phone whenever you feel nervous or uncomfortable. It’s a bad habit and it means that people don’t appreciate their time together. So what if they’ve up gone to the bar? - sit back and embrace the butterflies. Quite frankly, that nervous-excited feeling is half the fun.
It’s much easier to get to know someone without the distractions. By forgoing your technology, you’ll be able to have some precious one-on-one time. It also demonstrates to your partner that you’re actually taking the time to get to know them.
This isn’t just old fashioned dating; it’s practical advice for most special occasions in your life.
Dress to impress
You don’t need to rent a tux or a ballgown to make a good impression. Nevertheless, so many people simply don’t make the effort before they go out on a date. Everyone has a different idea about counts as dressing smartly, so I think there’s one universal rule that applies to everyone.
Be effortlessly groomed. If you’re a man, that means making sure you smell gorgeous and that your clothes are spotless. Wear something that you feel comfortable in (not necessarily new) and be confident. There’s nothing more attractive than someone who oozes confidence.
The same grooming rules apply to woman, but I’d be lying if it were that simple. I don’t need to tell you how to do your job, so wear something that makes you feel beautiful and encourages you to walk than bit taller.
Dressing to impress might seem obvious, but making a visible effort is absolutely vital for a successful date.
If you are feeling particularly adventurous, then create the perfect excuse to get dressed up and show off. Jazz and burlesque clubs are teaming with people decked out in their finery - all you need to do is find the right look for you. Warning: a burlesque club might not be the ideal first-date location!
Remember your manners
In the pseudo-mythical world of old fashioned dating, manners were everything. It’s a shame, but all too often manners are forgotten and thrown by the wayside. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a boy or a girl; opening doors for someone and pulling out their chair is lovely. It makes your partner feel special and demonstrates that you really care for their well-being.
The reality is that it doesn’t take much to impress people with good manners. If someone offers me their seat on the bus, my day is made right there and then. Kindness doesn’t cost you anything and you’ll reap the rewards when your dating.
If you want to embrace the world of traditional dating, then old-fashioned manners are an absolute must. Everyone likes different things, but helping someone out of a taxi or placing their jacket on their shoulders is worth every effort. It doesn’t matter if the date goes awry and you never see them again. Great manners make a lasting impression, and you’ll never forget someone who was undeniably kind.
Bring a gift
When you go on a date with someone, you don’t need to bring them an expensive piece of jewellery to demonstrate your interest. More often than not, it comes across as trying too hard and seeming like you’re frivolous. Instead, if you want to show that you care, then go old-fashioned - bring your date a bouquet of flowers.
This may seem naff, however, it’s a simple but effective way of showing someone that you’ve made an effort. Forget the carnations (it’s not prom) and give your partner roses or something that’s particular to them. In my own opinion, single red roses are verging on cliched - if you’re going to get someone flowers, go all the way.
If you think flowers aren’t personal enough, then choose something that you know they’ll love. What about a book that you know they’re dying to read? If you really want to make an impression, then the die-hard romantic inside you could write a poem or love letter. This is entirely down to the individual - some people may love it, others might cringe and run a proverbial mile. The choice is up to you.
Nevertheless, a small token of your affection can make the difference between a good and a great date. It sets the tone and will help to make your day extra special.
Before you conjure ideas of bumping and grinding on the dancefloor, we had something different in mind. Swing dancing is a great way of embracing old-fashioned dating and taking the opportunity to get up close and personal. Turn off your phone, wear your finest dancing shoes, and spend the evening together doing something completely different.
Before the Second World War, one of the most common ways for young couples to meet was at local dancing halls. It’s a lovely way to get close with someone without actually getting <em>too</em> close. Plus, you can tell a lot about someone by the way they move on the dancefloor.
Don’t rush things
We couldn’t do a piece on old-fashioned dating without recommending you to take things slow. This isn’t simply your mother talking; it makes good practical sense. Miranda Kerr recently said that she made Orlando Bloom wait 6 months before she even let him kiss her. This is an extreme case, without a doubt, but who are we to question her judgement?
There’s a common misnomer that you should never have sex on the first date. This is somewhat misleading because it suggests that everyone should then be rushing to the bedroom on the third date. Rather than making a point of abstaining entirely, let things happen naturally. No one enjoys organised fun, so why should sex be any different?
If you really want to embrace old fashioned dating, then it’s worth waiting before things get physical. This makes things more exciting and will always make your relationship more interesting.
Ignore the cliches
There’s lots of cliches when it comes to dating. We all know them, but there are some that really stick out. The first one that comes to mind is waiting three days before you contact someone after a date. Many people do this because they don’t want to come across as needy, or they want to play hard to get. However, in the old days of dating, it was common to get ‘follow up’ a date with a phone call a day later. That way, you know exactly where you stand and you can plan a new date straight away (if you like).
The other cliche is that men have to pay for dinner. Although this was a quintessential rule for old fashioned courting, it’s not really reflective of modern society. Men aren’t the breadwinners anymore and it can often be somewhat unfair on the man.
Instead, rather than assuming one person will pay for dinner, you could suggest ‘why don’t I get this one?’. This avoids any uncomfortable feelings about who gets the bill and it solidifies your status as a couple on equal footing. While we love old fashioned dating, we would never want to be presumptuous.
If you want to create a wonderful date, then it’s all making everything unique to you. There’s no point in pursuing traditional dating methods if it leaves you both feeling uncomfortable.
8 Ways to Embrace Old-Fashioned Dating:
So, there you have it. Our 8 ways to make a truly memorable date; something which will forever stick in your mind as a special event. Many of these tips are achingly simple (like turning off your phone) but they show your partner just how much you care. There are other things that you can do too, like dressing up and preparing food together before you go on your special date. By spending quality time together, you’ll have a greater opportunity to get to know one another. Isn’t that what dating is for, anyway?
Some of these tips go beyond dating too. Waiting before things get physical is a tried and tested way to make a relationship last. However, you should let things grow organically; there’s no point in abstaining just for the sake of it. Additionally, too much emphasis is placed on the ‘3 day waiting rule’. Don’t hesitate to get in contact with someone a day or two after a date to see how things went. That way, you can plan your next event together and organise something you both want to do.
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